I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
