I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
