whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
