wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
