I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
