You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
