yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
