I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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