i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
