Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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