did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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