So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
