Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
