not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
