Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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