just come out here and I will go home with you...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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