so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
