Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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