I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
