he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
