but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Randomize
