I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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