did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
