I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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