i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
