yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
