How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
