I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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