come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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