my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm sobbing to NWA
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
