You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
