All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
