Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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