Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
