He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
