Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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