Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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