You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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