Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
