I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Randomize
