The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
