Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
