I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
