U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
