If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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