Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
