just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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