Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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