Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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