I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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