I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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