Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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