I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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